after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
