Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
