This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize