I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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