Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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