I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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