i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
