I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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