Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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