They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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