how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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