I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
