is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
