in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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