the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
