so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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