:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
