Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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