Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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