i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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