bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize