Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
