I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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