But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you made out with another girl for some wings
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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