He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
