his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
