I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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