Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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