dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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