**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize