just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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