im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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