I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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