I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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