So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
