she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
