i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
