Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.