My room smells like vodka and shame
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.