We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
