i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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