Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
