So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
