Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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