nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
