How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He has the fingertips of a God
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
