okay pat passed out under dana's car
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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