shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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