You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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