If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i out mim tonsoeep
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
