I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
