Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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