My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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