So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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