Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
