did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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