***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
